Racoon X and Racoon Y are now in custody! In their defence, they have asked for various other offences to be taken into consideration. Something about equity rights for the rats? I had offered to supply the same, slightly dented, for a small consideration, but it seems like my offer met with some concern. The vicar has advised that he is still looking for small girls and boys to play rats in the Dick Whittington Pantomime this year. It is very last minute as the various prizes donated by two passing gentlemen of the racoon persuasion were later removed as evidence by the police. This week sees a request for items of bric-a-brac for the Scouts and Guides Winter Fair. Sundry other items including one foot, two knees, a pierced nose and the picture of the late Duke of East Lambtonshire, Ferdinand the Lesser! The final score included five bulls (none of whom needed veterinary care), 107 doubles and 96.5 trebles (paid for by the losing team). The UMM Ladies Darts team scored a decisive win against the ladies from Much Deeping-Hollow. The evening wasn’t entirely wasted as the nursing staff managed to inoculate everyone for Flu, TB, MMR, Tetanus and Shingles! It later turned out that they thought the free shot was of Corona Beer.

By evening, the village hospital was besieged by crowds of drinkers from the Pied Sparrow Public House. News that a new type of Corona shot was available in the village started circulating yesterday afternoon. This edition is kindly sponsored by Mrs Singh’s Home Delivery Service called ‘Jumbo Eats’ – Free lifesize banana and joyride on Jumbo with each kids meal! (no liability is accepted for trampled flowerbeds and feet, or dented cars!) This just goes to show how diverse Middle-Grade reads can be! Malamander is the book’s name, and it is quite different from anything we have reviewed before.

This week we are decidedly pleased to bring you an eerie review of the first book in one of our favourite series.

Malamander book review